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Dear Gaines,
For Christmas I didn't know what to get you all.
So I donated a goat on your family's behalf which was entered in the 25th annual Buccoo Goat Race Festival. Your goat (#8) won!!!
Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year.
Cousin Joel
Best cousin = the Lone Ranger
Best movie = Mad Hot Ballroom
Most played album = O - Damien Rice (3 years running)
Most overrated band = Coldplay
Best album = Shins - Chutes too narrow
Best artist/concert = Sufjan Stevens
Best book read in '05= franny and zooey - jd salinger
Best quote of '05 ""I don't have time for your small talk Yoda! Cause I'm about to make a scene."
Ah man - bring on 06
Hello, my name is Joel
I work in the tax preparation factory
One day, my boss came up to me and said
Joel are you busy
I said no, so I prepared the 1040 with my right hand
Hello my name is Joel .....
This is my work photo. Who's that sexy korean?
JDE -JOURNAL, TAXES-The Tax Magazine, November 2005 vol. 1
Are your tax savings plans in line as we approach the end of the calendar year?
Advice from the family expert:
Andrew - Don't file your 1040. - Your federal tax dollars go straight to a government that supports large corporations and is controlled by the political donations of the capitalist machines that put those politicians into office. All the while, ignoring global economic issues, the marginalized of society and spending your tax dollars on a war that the rest of the world does not support, while our educational system at home is falling apart and our own citizens are unable to pay for medical needs because of a health care system that is in shambles compared to the rest of the world.
Jacob & Abb - You're taking way too much on your housing allowance - watch out for the IRS - Just cause you prayed before your meal at the restaurant doesn't mean it qualifies as a clergy deduction
Uncle Bill - You need to cut back on those capital gains
Aunt Lena - Don't let uncle bill get caught up in those get rich quick investment schemes
Wesley & Sara - withholding nothing on your paychecks for taxes is NOT acceptable nor wise -
Ben & Becky - having a child is a great tax savings plan, not only do you benefit from the dependent deduction and exemption you also qualify for the child tax credit. Just ask Anna and David. You think it's just chance that they're having another baby before the close of 2005? Tax deduction baby -His name is going to be Reitoff (writeoff) Jinkins
Gramie - sell, sell, sell!! Southern hasn't done didley for you in years. At what price did you buy IBM? MY WORD!!!!!
- by Joel Eisleben, CPA
*Mr. Eisleben is not liable for any of the afformentioned advice if acted upon by the reader of this article - also if you have read this article you will receive a bill in the mail based on the amount of time it took you to read it.
Uncle Bill - possibly it comes in Michigan colors or with the Michigan logo. (hint, hint)
Just in case you had plans for this coming Christmas and had me in mind.
I think it would go well with my Michigan earring.
Love you all,
Joel