Some of the greatest, most meaningful moments happen in life when your the farthest away from the world. This past Wednesday I walked into the room of a 29 year old girl named Roxanne. She sat in bed covered in mounds of blankets. For 23 years she has been battling two brain tumors while in pain because of the several that run up her spine. I was invited over because it had been a dream of hers in life to write a song. As I sat there asking her to tell me about her feelings of life and her experience and what Christ means to her, she began to unload. As my friend was writing these things down, she would forget quickly and repeat the same thing over and over again, "I don't know why I have to go through this" and "Jesus is everything to me." At that moment, nothing else mattered. It didn't matter I was late coming home, it didn't matter I was going to miss dinner, it didn't matter I was late for worship rehearsal and prayer. How could I remove myself from experiencing something Christ dedicated his life too. I sometimes wonder how much of life is lost to other things like TV, acting like we have it together, fighting for politicians, complaining about how much we don't have, when I'm staring at a girl who hasn't known normal health for the majority of her life. Roxanne continued on," He's all I need. He hears my prayers. Why can't I walk, why, why, why?" After about an hour and a half of writing and playing music, we had it. The song was done. I played it for her and she bobbed her head ever so lightly and smiled. At that moment I felt purpose. I don't know if you can feel purpose, but it was something I don't feel a lot. As my friend drove us home, I had a chance to sit and think. Thoughts went through my head about so much. Sometimes I hear people talk about things so passionately but rarely hear who Christ is to them. I think if Paul would come back and sit in on a conversation with a group of people any where in the U.S. he would probably say, "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things." I'm not sure I've seen this type of passion for Jesus in my entire life. Was it only Paul, I'm sure it's not. I think what I felt that day was something Paul felt on a consistent basis. He suffered for Christ, have we? I'm not sure, but I think the more you do, the more purpose you find in Him. For two hours i sat with my friend and a girl named Roxanne. What I learned from that moment was more than any message I have heard on Sunday morning all year. I was in it, not just hearing it. I will continue to ask myself ," What matters Steve, what truly matters?"
Roxanne's Song:
Sometimes You're so hard to find
As questions run through my mind
It seems the answers come slow
To questions You only know
I cannot understand how
You hear my prayers even now
I need you more everyday
Closer to you I will stay
With every thought I think of You
As every breathe begins to sing
You are everything, You are everything
even in my pain, You are all I need
You are everything, You are everything
What no one else can see, You are everything
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Steve,
wow. thanks for sharing that. our prayers are with your friend. steve you are such a precious gift to so many people. i'm so proud of you. what you say is true.
It seems that the Lord blessed each of you in a way that neither of you will ever forget, as you both were loving God in such a mighty way....during a very difficult time.
Thanks for sharing and for the reminder of what is really important.
Steve- Wow, what a powerful story. It is amazing how God took a defensive back from the roaring Bulldogs of BHS and gave him an amazing gift-that you are using! I am proud to have a friend like you!
Stevo, right 0n!!
Steve, I am VERY proud of you. You are learning so much about the importance of life. We are here for a short time. God wants us to touch the lives of others. You are touching lives every day. Love Dad
and what a mercy ministry you have. From orphans in Baja to the sick in Midland. I can't say enough about my lil bro...so proud!
Thank you Steve for your tender heart of obedience to the prompting of the Spirit and for the reminder that there are so many more important things in life than we tend to realize.
It's amazing how God gives us these life changing experiences intermittently throughout our lives and how in the moment of it, you know that something in you will never be the same (unlike most change that is unconscious, slow, and steady). So you sit and you linger, so as not to miss a second of what God might be doing. And when you walk away, there's a certain sense of loss because you don't know the next time you will be so close to the breath of God.
Post a Comment